5 ways to deal with post break up depression
By Smitakshi Guha
Habits are quite a hard thing to deal with. As someone wise put it, you remove the “H,” a bit remains, you remove the “A,” then too bit remains and if you remove the “B,” still “it” remains. When we get used to a certain thing or a person, our attention, thoughts and reflection about life somewhat begins to revolve around them, and more than anything, we start seeing the world from their eyes.
Call it being categorically “madly in love,” but the adage and the poetic references of “love is blind,” can’t be deemed completely untrue. And when that changes abruptly, one is bound to feel like havoc has been wrecked and hell has broken loose. For the heterogeneity that the society is synonymous with, it is but obvious that everyone is supposed to deal with loss in different ways.
For some it can be as if the bad bit didn’t even happen, while for others the phase can feel like a perpetual cage of tormenting saga. But no matter what your tolerance powers are, you mustn’t overlook the very fact that you had a life when the certain someone wasn’t in it, and hence, you can still have it when s/he is no more with you.
- Accept the truth
Sometimes we try to convince ourselves hard just in order to avoid the pain that the truth can inflict on us. Some believe it is a good way for dealing with it, but there rises the question: For how long? Staying in denial benefits no one, and is sheer dishonesty with one’s self. If you wish others to never lie to you, then how can you yourself live with the onus of being unfaithful to yourself?
Acceptance is brutal at times, but it is always beneficial in the long run. The sooner you accept the loss, the better.
- Don’t make it your obsession to get over your past
Okay, it hurts you bad and you want to get over it. We understand. But don’t forget “too many cooks spoil the broth.”
In this context, overdoing on such efforts can actually inflict more pain and constantly nudge you with the good and the bad memories, both of which will only have a bad impact; since bad memories are well, bad, and good memories just make it dawn in your head that they don’t exist in your life anymore. Bottom line: a sour taste clouds your mind thinking about them.
So it is completely all right to cut yourself some slack and take it slow. There’s a reason they say that time is a great healer. It will heal only if you want it to. The rest—leave it to time.
- Rediscover yourself
The intro of this article explains it how we actually start living a life, seeing things from the perspective of the one who we love and how beautiful it looks at that point of time. But in that very phase, you also lose the essence of your own self, your identity, to quite an extent even if not fully.
Coming out of a relationship no matter willingly or unwillingly can be a complicated situation, mainly because you are so much used to the presence and the essence of that someone. But you also need to understand that you also have a duty towards yourself. You came with a purpose and before anyone else you are accountable to your own soul, your own body, your ambitions, dreams and ideas.
So try to rediscover yourself, do what you like, eat what you love, and try exploring and doing what makes you happy. And even if you are a hopeless romantic who is simply in love with the idea of being in love, then hey, use it to love yourself, immeasurably.
- Spend more time with your friends
Believe it or not, being in a relationship does a lot of collateral damage when it comes to other aspects of life. Be it your friends, your hobbies or simply your time.
Utilize this post break up phase to mend your bonds and strengthen it with your friends who have stayed by your side through thick and thin. Spend more time with family, because a relationship becomes important to you at unpredictable points at an abrupt point of life, but you should remember to remember that your family is your true power, who gave you existence, worth, nurtured you and made you what you are today.
- Bid adieu to the negativity
Negativity isn’t limited to depression, taking anti-anxiety tablets, et cetera. Vengeance, hate, innate thoughts for revenge, confining yourself to a dark room—for all of this, the word negative would be an understatement, as it is the truest reflection of futility for your life.
Such elements are only going to hurt you in the long run, and bring you more harm than good. Remember, dignity is your middle name and vengeance is only a temporary satisfactory feeling. And just so you remember: Temporary satisfaction can never give you permanent happiness.
Featured image source: capitalfm